Striving to be Unable

Do I,

want to be unconscious?

What a dumb question,

I am supposed to say,

it seems the answer is sharply clear cut.

it was not my choice

to rise from nothingness

into thought.


I let the other

accrete away all my mass.

I slice it off in bits myself

and offer it like a succulence.

Why do I do this?

I want to be unconscious.

I don’t want to have to think

about what to do with all that mass

it’s too heavy and it weighs on me.


It weighs on you too,

my emotional turmoil.

You get closer and closer to your limit

and I just continue

to circle you in my misshapen way.

You see,

at each bit I give away,

I space out

and it is beautiful.


You grow and grow,

so white hot, that I am

blinded and it is beautiful.

So much more mass

rips off me.

I thought I would have to wait much longer

for this moment.

Then, I am go-

I wrote this as a response to Janani Balasubramanian’s performance of Rogue Objects which I was able to participate in.

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