Striving to be Unable

Do I,

want to be unconscious?

What a dumb question,

I am supposed to say,

it seems the answer is sharply clear cut.

it was not my choice

to rise from nothingness

into thought.

.

I let the other

accrete away all my mass.

I slice it off in bits myself

and offer it like a succulence.

Why do I do this?

I want to be unconscious.

I don’t want to have to think

about what to do with all that mass

it’s too heavy and it weighs on me.

.

It weighs on you too,

my emotional turmoil.

You get closer and closer to your limit

and I just continue

to circle you in my misshapen way.

You see,

at each bit I give away,

I space out

and it is beautiful.

.

You grow and grow,

so white hot, that I am

blinded and it is beautiful.

So much more mass

rips off me.

I thought I would have to wait much longer

for this moment.

Then, I am go-


I wrote this as a response to Janani Balasubramanian’s performance of Rogue Objects which I was able to participate in.

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