Self Imposed Exile

We are sitting together

and they slowly

get called away.

.

I watch their faithless eyes turn

as their mobile devices

are rung by the same person

standing 25 feet ahead of me,

watching them leave me.

Because if they aren’t by his side

he will feel lonely.

.

I look backward

at one of them

and ask him, “really?”

this is not the first time.

It will not be last.

.

It seems the caller

is with them

more and more,

and I,

less and less.

They know how I feel.

I told them,

this was my own

hang up.

Not to worry

or interrupt their friendships

with the caller.

This was/is my own fault

my own hang up.

.

I hung up my phone

before they began

ardently picking up theirs.

I couldn’t take

the crushing lack of space

that seems to comfort them.

I can’t take it.

I self impose an exile.

.

I do tend to like

a self imposed consistency.

I have other friends

I can do this.

Even though they want me,

I can’t stand him more

than I want to give them

my time.

Where ever they are, there he is.

I won’t make them separate from him.

I will separate from them.

I am not selfish,

I have other friends.

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