Final Bow

I am taking my final bow

and stepping out of the picture.

.

How many years has it been now?

About three years.

I’ve been flitting in and out of sight

for three years.

I’ve been speaking

and offering condolences

for three years.

I’ve been watching you burn

for three years.

.

I have painted in water,

I have painted in sand,

I have painted in fire blankets.

I have painted in __

I have painted __ __

I have __ __ __

I __ __ __ __

.

You stopped watching me,

You stopped needing me,

this picture

is getting crowded

with the old,

the new,

and the not me.

It’s been getting old,

this has happened before-

the being unneeded-

.

but I always waited

until

I saw blank spots

like falling tufts of hair

begin to appear in the painting.

It was then

I reappeared

to clean

and add my amateur touch.

.

It’s been three years,

It’s been three big blanks

where the anxiety

was hair-tearing strong.

A makeshift hut is formed

and burned.

It’s been three big blanks

for me too-

after I wasted all my paint

I was left with

less for myself.

.

It’s been three strikes- – –

am I needed?

am I not?

I am taking my final bow

and stepping out of the picture.

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