Hat of All Trades

In that old world,

she was the queen.

In my mind,

she had a gold and velvet hat,

with all the special privilege it entailed.

.

Without her,

a crown shaped hole is left

in my everyday life.

I know I can never replace her,

but I can try to fill the hole.

.

I give the people in my lives

different hats everyday

to designate,

their meaning to me.

.

Like a chef

has puffy white hat,

so do I have hats

for many people

and many sensibilities.

But above all,

the most important hat,

the crown,

remains empty.

.

Oh,

I’ve tried to give it to people.

But it’s very heavy and cumbersome.

So heavy,

it can bring people to the verge.

The weight is too much

for one person to bear.

.

Royal clothes

must befit a royal personage,

and as I am the judge,

the definition of royalty

deserving to wear that crown

is defined by me.

.

But I am not impartial,

I make mistakes

and occasionally misjudge

like people do themselves

a person’s ability

to wear that crown.

.

Where I am now,

there is no crown.

What once was

that crown

has been broken into shards.

The shards are scattered

and imbued in a variety of hats.

.

I realize it now,

I can’t expect a person

to be her and fill the hat,

I made for her.

I’m keeping the biggest shard

in a hat for next time I see her,

but I understand now

that that hat might have been too big,

even for her.

2 thoughts on “Hat of All Trades

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